What being an emotional intuitive empath has taught me…
“You’re too emotional…”
“You’re an all or nothing kind of person, aren’t you?”
“Why do you have to be so emotional for?”
If anyone has ever made these comments to you or you have ever felt this way about yourself.
This is for you.
I hear you.
Since I was a very young girl, I remember feeling EVERYTHING. It was as though I could physically feel every emotion in my body. And how does one cope without skills or education around it? Well they don’t. Over the next few years these emotions manifested into self destructive behaviours.
And when my self destruction came to boiling point, professionals then labelled these intense emotions I began to know so well, as ‘clinical depression’. The ‘clinical depression’ was then masked with medication, upon medication, until the emotions were numbed and I was faced with the frustration of not feeling anything at all.
Looking back now, I can see that it was much easier for a professional to give me a label rather than explaining that I was an intelligent young girl who had the ability to empathise. I used a lot of my time and energy fighting the uncomfortable emotions, I was taught skills to distract them, switch them off and I was always encouraged by professionals to voice them.
So now you can begin to understand why and how It is I can be so open with people about my deepest emotions - I’ve practiced sharing them from a very young age.
It was only around 6 months ago, someone had relayed some information to me, a comment from someone I had empathised with and supported. This one comment which was something along the lines of “why does she have to be emotional” determined how I was going to show up in my relationships for the next 6 months.
I felt such guilt and shame around my emotions, I then began to form a belief that I was the cause of any relationship break down. That my emotions were what drove people away. And in attempt to protect myself - I emotionally withdrew from that relationship and soon after, from every other relationship in my life. A girl who once felt so comfortable with showing her vulnerability and voicing her emotions, swallowed them whole… and I’m pretty sure you can guess what happened next.
I began to think that wearing my heart on my sleeve and being an empath was my biggest downfall. I began to hold back on sharing how others had made me feel in fear of being ‘too emotional’. I began to feel extremely uncomfortable with my emotions and I feared sharing them within all my intimate relationships.
I couldn’t express myself or assert healthy boundaries in my relationships and there were communication break downs in my personal and business relationships.
I felt the weight of all my emotions and no matter how many words I spilt onto paper, I never felt better. I had no emotional release. Essentially, I was punishing myself for the most beautiful contract I was given in this life time - to feel everything so deeply or nothing at all.
As I write this - I’m connecting the dots. I’m realising where I let myself down and how my limiting belief (or more so how someone else’s belief) has shaped my actions, my behaviour and overall, every one of my relationships.
Up until now I actually thought ‘limiting beliefs’ were something that I should be fearful of, but I was wrong - they are actually just a powerful self reflection tool, that when analysed and overcome, can help you change the trajectory of your life.
I’m now working through that belief. I’m rewiring it and I’m taking actionable steps to change it. And I’m proud to say I’m an empath because it’s given me all this wisdom and loving emotion to share.
I’m showing up in relationships and being honest about my emotions, even when they are really uncomfortable to express. And surprisingly, people are respectful of me when I respect myself.
I know that every person who felt I was too emotional, was probably triggered because I was in touch with my emotions and they were very detached from their own.
Being an empath means you are emotionally intelligent, which also means that we are attracted to helping those who are not. Empath’s are there for people who often need it the most and we light the way for people who are unable to feel much at all… but let’s not confuse our job. We’re here to empathise not always to heal.
It’s not our job to fix the opinions of those who lack empathy.
Being an empath is our super power and never feel shameful of that because understanding and owning our emotions is key to understanding ourselves.